14 Terrible Sex Tips From Magazines That You Should Never, Ever Try

Women's lifestyle magazines have been trying to get people to spice up their romance lives for decades now, but as you'll notice in these 15 bits of terrible advice, it's hard not to believe that they're trying to sabotage relationships instead of helping them.

1) Because every romp should start off with sticky desserts apparently...

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2) Or a pizza for that matter (and no, it's not in the way you think).

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3) ...Why? Just... just WHY?!

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4) No man has ever said this in the history of sex, "Curtis."

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5) For the love of all that is sacred, never, EVER listen to "Steven."

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6) Ladies, trust me, this couldn't be further from the truth.

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The advice only gets worse from here... somehow...

7) Treating the penis "like a jar" is the absolute last thing any man wants.

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8) This is just... creepy...

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9) This just sounds disgusting.

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10) "Hey baby, wanna fork?"

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11) Because nothing's more romantic than doing it to the sounds of people getting brutally murdered.

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12) Torture. What you're thinking of is literal torture.

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13) This just seems disgusting, and like a great way to ruin your bed sheets.

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14) I just winced in sheer terror.

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What's the worst sex advice you've ever seen in a magazine?